Friday, August 24, 2007

Men's Rule #2

Only go into a women's purse under extreme duress. Purses are
actually small black holes that contain 1) more stuff than should be
able to fit into that space, and (more importantly) 2) things that men
just weren't meant to see. I am not talking about "feminine hygiene
products" and the like - I've shopped for those many times and talk
with my girls about all that. I am talking about things that will make
you shake your head and get you in trouble if you ever mention it.
Consider the reverse, she looks in your (toolbox, computer harddrive,
whatever) and starts a sentence with "Why do you have...?" No good can
come of any of it.

Men's Rule #1

Never, ever, EVER assume a women is pregnant. She may be having contractions every two minutes, but the microscopic chance that is it really just heartburn or gas pains should prevent you from making the assumption. You have very little to gain and everything to lose. It is far far better to be thought obtuse for not noticing she is pregnant than to make a mistake and thereafter be classified as a form of life lower than a flatworm.